Say You'll Remember Me

Welcome to Books I Make My Husband Read, a self-described hilarious and heartfelt podcast where I, Kristy, the devoted book lover, curate an unexpected reading list for my husband, Jon. And that's me. Each episode, we'll dive into lively discussions, humorous debates, and surprising insights on the books Kristy just has to make me read. We're here to explore everything from timeless classics to quirky hidden gems, challenging our perspectives and inviting you to join in on the fun. So settle in, grab your favorite beverage, and get ready for another literary adventure.

Hello listeners and welcome to season two, episode seven of Books I Make My Husband Read. I'm your host Kristy. And I am your cohost Jon, the one that Kristy makes read all the books. All the books. All of them. This week we'll be discussing Say You'll Remember Me by Abby Jimenez, a swoony heartfelt romance about unexpected love, the weight of family, and the courage to hold on when life tries to pull you apart. The weight of family… I think that is an understatement for this book. But seems like another good win for Abby. I loved Just for the Summer last year, so I am looking forward to this one as it's my dos book by Abby. You're acting like you haven't read it already. Saying you're looking forward to it. And if you haven't read it already, we have a little bit of a problem. ⁓ yeah, we would. ⁓ No, I'm excited. I did. I finished.

is ready, ⁓ let us discuss. All right. I actually think this might be my favorite book from her. There are just so many things I loved about it and I'm really excited to dive in a little bit further in a few minutes. But before we get into that, we need to let our listeners know that the next two books in our lineup are The Trade-Off by Samantha Greene Woodruff and A Great Big

Beautiful Life by Emily Henry. Ooh, second Emily Henry book. Oh, sweet. Yes, and I've heard this one is not only good, it's out already. Just released last week from when we were recording this. And I heard it's really good, but I also heard it's very different than her other books. So I am excited to know what that means. Right on.

But remember that you can see the complete lineup of books for season two by visiting our website, booksimakemyhusbandread.com, or by following us on Instagram @booksimakemyhusbandread. And not only you can see the rest of the books that we're going to cover, but you can also catch up on any episodes you might have missed. Yep, that's true. They're all up there. And while you're there on Instagram or our website, drop us a comment and send us a DM if you have a question that you'd like us to answer on the show, or you can email us at booksimakemyhusbandread@gmail.com and we'll be sure to answer your question in an upcoming episode. How about we hit that spoiler free book summary for the listeners? Hit it. There might be no such thing as a perfect guy, but Xavier Rush comes disastrously close. A gorgeous veterinarian giving Greek god vibes all while cuddling a tiny kitten? Immediate yes.

Although for me it's a dog, but okay. That is until Xavier opens his mouth and proves that even sculpted gods can say absolutely the wrong thing. Like really wrong. Of course, there's nothing Samantha loves more than proving an asshole wrong. Unless of course, he could admit that he made a mistake. But after one incredible and seemingly endless date, possibly the best in living history, Samantha is forced to admit the truth. Her family is in crisis and any kind of relationship would be impossible. Samantha begs Xavier to forget her multiple times, to remember their night together as a perfect moment, as crushing as that may be. no amount of distance or time is nearly enough to forget that something between them. And the only thing better than one single perfect memory is to make a life or even a love worth remembering. Indeed. We, Kristy and I, are about to reveal all of the slow burns, the grand gestures, and the H-E-As Happily-Ever-Afters for those not in the know. I wasn't in the know.

How long does it take you to come up with these pithy little transitions? No time at all. They just come to me. They just like poof. Okay. What do need? All right. Tell me what you thought about this book. Okay. Well, no surprise here, but I enjoyed this one. You seem to have a knack for picking books that I'll enjoy. I thought it was a great cast. I thought the dialogue was wonderful.

It's only my second Abbey book that I've read. Just for the Summer was the first one. I found Just for the Summer to actually be a bit more humorous, maybe a bit more what I might call a traditional rom-com. I kind felt like this one was maybe a little less comedy, almost a little more drama-y. It's less like a rom-com and more like a rom-dam. Is that a thing? No. What are you talking about? Like a romantic...

Drama, drama, dramatic drama. But so many funny things. There were a lot of funny things. I did appreciate them. I also, I really just really appreciated how real the struggles were for all the characters in this book, despite their seemingly looking like gods and goddesses. Towards the end, when Samantha's dad is describing what it was really like to be a full-time caretaker for Lisa, that was just really difficult to read. And then Samantha has the same experience. So yeah, I really appreciated how real a lot of it was. There were funny moments, but I just felt like it was, it felt a little bit more like a story with family, like drama than a romantic piece, but I felt like it's rom-com adjacent. I love this one, as I said, when we opened, I think it's probably my favorite Abbey book. And I think a lot of that hinges on the long distance and the realness of that, because that is something that we personally had to navigate when we were first dating. And I felt some of the things that they're both feeling. I don't know when I'm gonna see this person next. And like the heartache that comes along with that is it was awful sometimes, a lot of the times it's just awful. And when you can't see someone, it doesn't matter if they're, you know, a hundred miles away or a thousand or 2000 miles away, like that distance is everything. And so I really appreciated that.

This is not the first book I've read where someone is struggling with either dementia or Alzheimer's. So the memory care portion of it and the family aspect of that, it just felt very real and some of the struggles that go along with that and like specifically with her father and then how everyone experiences differently, like each of our siblings were experiencing differently than she was. So yeah, I just love the characters and I appreciated their storyline. Me too. That was great.

No, I think you're saying a lot of similar things that I was saying. I just felt it just leaned a little bit one way or more than the other, but yeah. Xavier and Samantha only spend 12 hours but can stop thinking about each other. Do you believe that kind of instant attraction and connection can be the basis for a successful long-term relationship? And do you have any personal experience navigating this? Nope, total farce, not humanly possible.

Of course I do. Cause that's literally, literally how my world felt when I met you. Just randomly crossing in a hallway, passing each other, me coming out of one meeting and then being struck by a meteor. Yeah. Basically. And then the, you know, like the evenings that that followed that one fateful week all those years ago and considering we've now made it 12 plus years, I'd say I absolutely believe it can be the basis for a long-term relationship. Yep.

Would you like to add any of that? Well, you didn't ask me. I thought maybe you just want me to move on. Just keep going.

Yeah, I again, that is I think why I love this book so much because there were so many moments like this that very much felt like what we were navigating and what we experienced. So we met each other on a work trip and we did not spend that much time together. It was over the course of multiple days, but in total it was not it.

It for sure was not 12 hours. Yeah, great. And after that, we have talked every single day since then. But it, it, yeah, I mean, that happened. then also there was the moment when, you know, Samantha was like, you have just forget about me and move on with your life. And then like we actually had within kind of our early period, like this little moment of a breakup, even though we weren't like officially dating, but it was just like, we should stop talking to each other. And like we did for a day and it was excruciating. was like, it probably wasn't even. It did feel like a breakup. It absolutely did. And I felt like that was also relatable in this story. was just like, with Xavier that he's just like, I can't do that. I don't want to do that. I know there's probably a list of things that would be the reasons why I should or like, because this isn't going to work or whatever, but the connection was too strong and it would have just been, it would have haunted me.

Yeah, like I said, there are just so many points. I was like, yeah, like they get engaged a year to the date of when they met. And that's when we got engaged. Yes, we did. Maybe this is about us. Moving on. If you were Samantha, would you have said yes to the date the night before you were moving away? Do you think it was fair of her to say yes without telling Xavier that she was moving out of state? I don't think I would have shared that I was moving out of state. I didn't owe this person anything. Even though I maybe felt the way that I felt and I had like the attraction or the unnameable thing that I was feeling. Like, you know, I just met this person in a vet clinic and he was kind of an asshole or whatever that day. Yes, he apologized or whatever. But so I don't know. I don't feel like I would have owed him that information. I also think it may be if I had shared it, maybe it would have like colored the entire experience that night. It may have planted seeds of question of like, is he being honest with me or does he just want me to stay here or anything like that.

So I don't know. I don't think I would have shared that. I didn't totally love this because I felt like I was team Xavier on this point, but she did sound like she was going on vacation. Like I actually thought that too. Like I thought she would be coming back. And then it's like, when we see that she goes home and she's all, yeah, she's all packed up.

I was like, ⁓ she's leaving, leaving because she doesn't, she's like, it has to be tonight when he asks her out. And I do, I don't know. think that you ask someone out, you have an attraction to them. You are interested them and on some level it doesn't always end up being marriage. But if you knew you couldn't date someone.

I don't know. I guess that like not every day needs to be something, you know, long term for sure. But it's been a fun night out. She didn't want to sit at home by herself. And she's like, here's an opportunity for me to go do something. OK. All right. What doesn't that give him the opportunity to say like she's like just casually or no? I don't think so. I don't think it's I don't think you have to give the pretext to what you think the thing is that you're about to do. Well, don't think you need to do pretext, but I do think maybe you should be on the same page with someone. We shall agree to disagree.

All right, so Xavier is more of a black cat personality, frequently described as grumpy and unsmiling, while Samantha is a golden retriever, extroverted, funny, and optimistic. Whose personality did you relate to more? Did you enjoy their opposites attract dynamic? And in what ways did they balance each other out? Well, I don't think you'll be surprised by my answer, but I totally aligned with the black cat over the golden retriever thing. You tell me all the time, you need to smile more. You do need to smile more and you need to really smile. You fake smile a lot. I do fake smile a lot. And I call you out on that. like, this is not a real smile in this photo. I mean, honestly, they're not that dissimilar from us. I think you would definitely be the golden retriever though. I think we would both agree with Xavier's point of view on people versus animals though, that people are the worst. for sure. are the worst. Animals are so better than people. So much better. But we've kind of talked about this topic before a little bit outside the show. I think we would have said for a long time that our personalities were opposites, but as our years have spanned and as we've... You've made me more grumpier. I have made you grumpier.

I was going to say it more politely and be like, we've absorbed some of each other's traits. But we've become better people because of it. I feel like the oppositeness is less relevant now. did you enjoy the opposites attract dynamic? Did you enjoy that aspect of the story? Yeah, for sure. I think that's one of my favorite tropes. Is that trope? Yes, it is. Look how much you've learned.

I like the episode of tracks thing, but this actually this question did make me want to ask you since you kicked it off with Xavier's a black cat and Samantha's a golden tree. What would, what is your spirit animal? Probably a squirrel. That's funny. But a lot of Xavier's personality traits resonated with me. His sort of contemplativeness and his observant and I feel like I'm similar in that way. When I speak, I speak with purpose. I actually feel that way about myself. I would agree. I I think you are more forthcoming and just more sociable than me. It doesn't take you as long to warm up and kind of be in the zone. You're not just spewing off random nonsense for the sake of hearing your own voice. No, definitely not. I like to take a lot in and then formulate my thoughts. Yeah, same. Has anyone you ever cared about suffered from dementia? What did you think of Jimenez's depiction of the disease and its impact on not just the person with dementia, but also their family? No, thankfully, no personal experience with that.

I did love how Abby described the impact of the disease and on those like, quote, left behind, dealing with it. It's tragic and exhausting. The descriptions of when Lisa's asking the same thing over and over and over and over again, because she doesn't remember that she just asked five minutes ago, like I couldn't even imagine the mental toll that that takes on somebody, even though it seems trivial. But in totality, it would just be like, my God. Yeah, but we're human and that's frustrating.

You can be as empathetic as possible, but that would still be tiring, I feel like. For someone who's, especially as a family member, you are not a trained. Caretaker. Yeah, you are not a trained caretaker and have the training. Stamina. Yeah, to know how to, I don't know, mentally process this, be prepared for it and care about and you can't have, so it's not just the like asking and asking and asking over and over. It's like, they don't know who you are. They are not the same person anymore. They don't understand basic things that you know they knew at one point. And so I think the family aspect of it is just so wearing for someone, even if you come into it going.

I know this is going to be difficult. know that. And I don't mean just going into it the first time, even like day after day, like waking up and going, okay, I'm going to try to be more patient today, but that's so hard. Especially for someone as close to you as like your mother. a parent. like you see them, they're physically sitting right there. They look the same. The things that they have like moments of the same, ⁓ mannerisms or.

Yeah, we're such visual people. to know that there's nobody there. Right, we're seeing them in the same way, but knowing that their mind is just different. That's really hard. I also try to think a couple of times throughout the book from Lisa's point of view where while she's still a bit more lucid, she doesn't really know anyone. And so I'm thinking like, okay, I know I'm somewhere. I know I'm someone.

I don't recognize anyone that's around me right now. the things that you do are like, it would be totally terrifying. Like who are these people? What are these strangers? What am I doing here? How do I get out of here? Oh, that would be awful. So back to my original question, I also have not had anyone close that I've had to navigate this with, but I have read other books where characters have struggled. And I remember actually reading one book specifically where part of it is written from the aspect of the person who

realizes she has some type of, is it called early onset dimension where you're really young like Lisa is in the book. And this person notices it and again, it just started with small things, but she's navigating it and yeah, she doesn't understand and she has these moments. it was heartbreaking. I still think about this book to this day. It was heartbreaking because you know, especially as

Lisa was in this book, an educated person who has a career. a business. Yeah, ran a business and then your mind is just not there. couldn't be by herself, couldn't be by herself. All those very fundamental things, that would be Yeah, your dignity is just gone. I just really appreciated how Abby depicted some of those things and didn't shy away from the really hard parts of it too. Agreed.

So along those same lines, Samantha's dad in particular is in a very difficult situation. Which of the siblings reactions matched your own when you found out that he was in fact dating or seeing someone or they don't specifically say, but can you see the argument for the other side? just, I couldn't imagine what he was going through. Like to see someone, like to see you, the love of my life, just suddenly go gray. Not gray in the hair, but like,

It's so prepare yourself. It's happening in real life. But just like start to go blank, that's what I was looking for. And to see you look the same, maybe even have moments where you're acting the same, but just knowing that if someone who's, I've spent decades, you know, loving and sharing memories with and to do- You're what with? Sharing memories with. Memories, okay. Yeah, I mumbled that one, sorry. I'm writing. Yeah, that would just be soul crushing. So I think I would have reacted.

the same as the daughters did. were able to see him, at least I'd like to think I would. They were able to see him not just as their dad, but as a human being. Not saying that it would have been easy or uncomfortable, but I'd like to think that I would have understood. And especially after grandma died and he shared what his truth was, like the life that he was really living, that he, to his like fault, he wasn't sharing, he wasn't opening up to them about

the struggles he was really having. So I think it would have reacted like that or like basically I would not have acted the way Tristan did. I don't know that it's to his fault though because I do think he as a father he's trying to protect his children. Yeah. So I hear you that he could have been more forthcoming but I think that probably he saw this as his burden to bear. I he probably thought then sickness and unhealth thing.

That's a good point. I hadn't thought about that. Yeah. I'm with you though. I very much felt like the very first time that he's gone and snuck Sneaks off, I knew exactly what was going on. Absolutely. And I thought to myself, well, I totally understand. I I completely get it because what he says is, that's not my wife. Right. It really isn't. mean, he will care for her and he will probably love her until the day she ends up ultimately passing away.

But the person he married is gone. She's there in the body, in the flesh, but that is it. And so I completely understand having to take care of your own needs as a person. I he's a human and he's not only just has physical needs, but also he's going through something so difficult that most people don't experience something like that in their life. I can't even imagine. I just can't. I can't even put it into words.

Yeah, same. I agree. I remember reading one time, and if I'm getting part of the story wrong, I apologize, but Sandra Day O'Connor's husband, don't know if was a form of Alzheimer's or dementia or whatever, but he was in a memory care facility and she would visit him and actually witnessed him essentially fall in love with another resident there.

She said, what a privilege it was to love this person and to see them. I'm getting emotional because I just think that the love you have to have for someone to know that it doesn't take away from the love that you had with them, but they're a new person now. And not being angry about that, but really celebrating it being happy for that person. That's just on another level that most of us can't even understand.

I totally agree. So there's a scene in the book where Samantha talks about a mistake her mom made, but as an adult, she understands what some of her mom's motivations behind the situation might have been. Samantha says, knowing this now doesn't change the memory, but it changes the way I feel about the memory. This is something I booked Mark and noted that I wanted to speak to my therapist about because it reflects something similar that I had an epiphany on.

This is what I love about Abby's writing. She has a way of weaving in dialogue like this that I think helps readers relate to their own lives. Was there a scene in the book that did that for you? Yeah, this whole theme really resonated with me, struck me pretty good as well. I think the scene specifically that did it for me was Hank's revelation to Xavier at the end about this is all just stuff for this is, you know, the...

the thing that you have with Samantha is unique because he had just lost his wife and he was trying to find, not a replacement, but something to keep himself busy. that really hit me because the way that I'm wired, I put a lot of pressure on myself to live up to some phantom expectations that I think others have of me. And a lot of times that has held me back a lot over the course of my life. And I mean, it's a common theme, still threaded in conversations with my therapist as well.

I appreciated that dialogue in that scene and yeah, I mean, I'll probably take that into my next session. I like I'm making notes right now. I'm going to make sure listen to this episode. Yeah, I should. really should. But tell me more about your thoughts about that scene that resonated with you. Well, I think in like specifically with, you know, our parents or anyone's parents that there comes a point in adulthood for most people, I hope, where you realize that your parents are people.

Yeah. And when you are younger, you think that they're so much older than you and they have things figured out. And I will say this is if you grew up in a more probably traditional stable household, I realize that this is not everyone's experience. But you think you have this like reverence and awe for your parents. And they're so much smarter than I am. And they have things figured out and they know all the things. But.

then you get to be an adult and if you have children of your own or you're around other children and you're like, wait, I am the age now that my parents were when I was 10 or 11, whatever. And you're like, fuck, they didn't know anything. They were just making it up as they went along. And you realized, I and for like, I grew up in a very working class family. So my parents had to work hard.

provide for us and although we always had, you know, like, is that enough to eat and close on our backs? there wasn't... Extravagancies. Yeah, we were not actually, we did not live an extravagant life. So my parents had a budget and all those things. So they, sure, were tired and had a lot going on. And so this is specific in the book where a scene where Samantha's mom...

is having a frustrating day or she doesn't even know it's a frustrating day, but she like throws a bunch of shit away that I think was like lying around, including a pair of vans that Samantha had saved months for to buy on her own. And she gets really pissed at her mom and she held that against her for a long time. And she's like, but as an adult, she was.

Probably had a busy day at work and she was stressed and she was worried about fixing dinner and she comes home and the house is a mess and she just like loses it because she's a normal fucking human being and That doesn't change the fact that Samantha Was really upset in that moment, but it gives her some understanding about Maybe why so it doesn't excuse the behavior, but you can meet

that with empathy now, like having more information. Yeah, absolutely. So I feel that way about, you know, situations in my past where, okay, that doesn't necessarily, as you know, Abby says, it doesn't change the memory. That's still my experience. That's still what happened from my perspective, but it changes how I feel about it. I can have more empathy for it. I can come in with a different understanding. It's not...

It's like it's not an excuse, but it's explanation. Yep. Agreed. Agreed. So in the back half of the book, the hits just keep coming for Xavier and Samantha between leaky pipes, hospitalization, death of a loved one, and then Samantha getting fired. Why do you feel like these two couldn't catch a break? Did this onslaught deepen your empathy for the couple or weigh down your enjoyment of the romance? Why couldn't they catch a break? Because there's no breaks to be caught.

No, and there's like a Murphy's law or whatever the saying is. When things come in Yeah, all of those. come in threes. You do. When big things happen, come in threes. I've heard that before. And it actually happened to me. I am living proof. Wait, what happened to you in threes?

I'll share with you. Oh, geez. Conspiracy theories are running wild. No, no, no. It's like when people say people die in threes. It's like, well, people die all the time. I mean, if you're counting, you can name the three. Well, if there's four, that another triad that's getting ready to start? Anyway, keep going. Thank you. I'm not done with this, though. No, I'm sure not. Anyway, did it. It did.

increased my empathy for them because I felt like I lived a similar sort of scenario where what triggered it was when Sam lost her job. I was immediately thrust back to years and years ago before you to a time in my life when I caught an onslaught. I was served with divorce papers. I was in the threat of being sued from some freelance work that had gone bad. And then I got laid off.

from my job. This was all within a matter of a few months. I feel like you got some explaining to do. So like all of that, I was just like, ⁓ I get it. I totally get it. is, it really weighs you down. I think it was really my first time that I thought to myself, holy shit, this is what depression feels like. was just a weight hanging on you. So yeah, there was empathy coming out of my eyeballs for them for sure. So.

Proceed with your questions about the things of three. I'm not an expert in things of three. Wait, you've been married before?

Spoiler alert. So the onslaught, it's not, I'm not saying it comes in threes, but it's real life. I mean, my dad used to always say this, like you get a little money and then something happens and you your hot water heater breaks or you you need to replace your tires or just something like that seems to always happen. So.

It felt very real to me that they just kept getting hit because that's what life is sometimes. You can hit a streak of bad luck and it can really take you down. Xavier has to deal with his own demons. He and Samantha talk about whether he would hypothetically forgive his parents if they showed any remorse or accountability for their actions, but they don't. What did you think of this family dynamic and how Xavier dealt with it?

That entire dialogue with his mother, I physically could feel myself reacting ⁓ and getting so angry just reading it. was, it was bad. I think that it's really immature to hang up the phone on someone, but also in the same, I would not have sat there and listened to what she was saying. just couldn't, I would have hung up the phone. I do not deserve to be treated this way. And her perception of reality is just,

beyond. Yep, agreed. But I mean, I think he said it. He's just like hearing her voice for the first time in over a decade just immediately brought him back to being a five year old or whatever it was. It's like he couldn't hang up. He was frozen in that moment of memory, even though he knew like subconsciously he wasn't agreeing with any of it that she was saying. He wasn't really believing in the things that she was saying, but he still was just like in that paralyzing moment of

of that memory and I think for him to forgive, I don't know, I think the way that he dealt with it is the only way he really knew how is to just, I just need to keep working harder and to keep proving them wrong. I need to keep giving them the middle finger on everything so they can't tell me I'm a failure, blah, blah, blah, blah. But I also think that if that's your sole motivation, that can be just as toxic.

⁓ super toxic. On your psyche. It's obviously very toxic. That was the whole point. So the very first time this comes up in the book, I actually made a bookmark there because, and I wrote myself a note that he needs to stop caring what his parents think because by caring, even if he has them blocked and all those things he talks about, he is allowing them to have power over himself. A lot of people talk about the opposite of love is hate.

But the opposite of love is indifference. Truly allowing another person to not matter to you, that's the opposite. What you think about me does not matter to me. If I am successful and you think it's because of you, that doesn't matter to me. I see. I agree with he's actually allowing his parents to have a lot of power over him still, even though he doesn't live there in their home, even though he doesn't speak to them.

He is allowing them to drive the reasons he's doing these things, to make really poor financial decisions and not be with the person he loves and move on with his life just to make them quote unquote like, yeah. That is allowing them to control you, to have some type of power over you. That's a great point. I think he's really lucky Hank came around.

All right, let's move to Samantha. So she faces a tough decision between accepting a new higher paying job or continuing as a caregiver for her mother. Why does she make the choice she does? Do you think it was the right one? I do. I thought it was the right choice, given the way it turned out. I love that she used the sort of ⁓ intervention style approach to get everyone in her family to kind of face their own shit. for her, she moved back to California for the reason to be around her family, to care for her mom, to...

have the last bit of time with her mom when she's there. And she, and this was the time when she was the full-time caretaker, she realized that the current state of things was not sustainable, not just for her, but for the whole family. The family was devolving around her and she knew that that's now at least what it wanted. Like, yeah, she wanted to stay home, but not at the expense of losing what they all had. And so I think fixing her family was just more important to her than.

in the job and the job just became the catalyst to force the conversation and to fix what was important to her and continue to do what she felt like she really came out there to do was be with her mom and help take care of her. What did you think? So I don't know. I really struggled with this and I don't think that there's a right answer. think that what Lisa, sorry, I think that what Samantha did was right for her, but I also.

agreed with the dad when he's like, she would not want us to rip our family apart just to keep her home. Like, let's put her in a facility. She will get the actual care and support that she needs. And it's also it became a safety concern too. So I just personally would have struggled. My mom never would be like, well, thanks a lot.

Skip this episode. Yeah. Don't listen to this one. I don't again, I don't think that there's a right or wrong answer. I think you have to do what's best for your family. And in this case, for Samantha, she felt really passionately that she wanted her family to rise to the occasion and figure out how to take care of their mother. But I don't know. I think that there's an argument to be made that maybe the best decision would have been to put her in a ⁓

some type of facility where she could get a different type of care from professionals. And not that they could have moved on with their lives, I don't mean that, but they could have had less conflict as a family. But I think the intervention that Samantha pulls off, she gives them the choice yet though. She does say like, I'm willing to put her in a care facility and you know, they go through that conversation, but they all agree to keep mom at home.

She kind of goes around the room for lack of a better phrase and says, what do you think? What would you want? And they're like, for her to be home, for her to be home. So I also think they did acknowledge that at some point it is going to become too much or it is going to become a safety issue. But while they still felt capable, that's what they wanted to do. Now, I agree with you. think it would be a wild struggle. I think it'd be really difficult to make that decision. ⁓ I think it was her dad that said it wasn't that

point of Lisa saying that she wanted to stay home wasn't necessarily that she wanted to stay in a physical space, was that she didn't want to be forgotten. And that point really resonated with me too during that whole conversation. Like you could go to a care facility and not be forgotten about. So yeah, tough, tough, tough, tough call. What did you think about the idea of being a witness to someone else's life? Did this concept land or resonate with you?

Yes?

Great answer. So this is kind of what I alluded to earlier. There's a point when Samantha explains that she wants to say one out of context comment to someone and they just know what it means. And like, I think that's the best part of any relationship, whether it's a romantic relationship or a friendship or the relationship you have with your siblings that you can say something ridiculous.

Like I could say, I swear on M.M. and there's only a few people who really know what that means. Right. You and I have these little minds. Oh, totally. I mean, even if they're not like we do have our own things, but even like the quoting movie lines, they're like, we've done enough that like we know what the other we literally know. Great example. What the other person is referring to, because we've laughed about it so many times. Yeah. I think we have a ton of them.

Yeah, I agree. think that whole point in the book really resonated with me. The parallel timelines, what did you call it in the question? Being a witness to someone's a to someone's life. Yeah. I mean, I think we are social beings, right? We are social creatures. And I think that's another great thing that Abby just kind of paints the picture for in this book is when they are alone and how excruciating that alone can be and how suddenly the things that you thought you enjoyed by yourself, you feel weighed down by when they're not being spent with another person.

you want to share that life with. think it's more though, like the point, this point is you're experiencing things with that person and watching them grow and evolve. And it's not from afar though. It's up close and personal and being a part of those things. Yeah. I thought that just popped in my head. It's like being a fully remote company. There are just certain things you can't replicate when you're not right in front of someone or when you're not right in the same room with someone and

I feel like it's a little bit of the same way. Like you can talk to someone over the phone or have a video chat with them or whatever, but it's not the same when they're not in the same room. can't smell them. can't experience their micro actions. I love that was the first thing you said. You can't smell them. It's a sense. It is one of the senses. I also might just be smelling myself a little bit right now, but.

That's besides the point. So anyway, I think we understand this question. We can move on now. Next question, please. You can smell them. That's going to come up again. OK. What did you think of the ending? Were you mad because you couldn't smell them or were you happy that things worked out so well for Xavier and Samantha? Or did you think things were tied up a little too neatly?

I I would say it wrapped up too neatly. I was happy that Xavier made the choice he did and kind of took back control over his life and the things that he wanted to do and not just the things that he was trying to prove his parents about. kind of given how easy he fit into their family through the whole book, it didn't also feel forced that he was suddenly there and accepted and doing the things and just falling right into line. So that didn't really feel out of line. I think actually, you know,

maybe one thing that wrapped up kind of oddly, I don't know if that's right word, but suddenly finding all the jewelry in the ashtray of the car, felt like it was maybe a little bit of a stretch. get there? Did the mom like sneak out? Yeah, that and just like somehow she started thinking about smoking and that had never like come up in the book up to that point either. And I don't know, it just felt a little forced, I think, but I didn't know they were going to find it.

Which is fine. I mean, I'm stretching to try to find something I think, I like ending. I didn't think it was, you know, it's a rom-com. It's to tie up with a bow. No, I didn't say that to try to trick you. I didn't think that it did or didn't tie. I thought it was fine. I loved the end. I loved the book. Ending was good with me. I didn't mind the jewelry thing because...

I feel like the whole it's not a coincidence thing is like actual bull crap. Like there are so many things in this world that ended up being just total coincidences. It's kind of mind blowing. And yeah, I loved how well he fit into their family. It didn't surprise me at all that he was the one to move. And I think that, I think that worked out for them. Plus from Minnesota, California. mean, no brainer. No. What a smart guy. One day. So.

The real question is, would you be influenced to buy Merkel's mustard based on Samantha's social media content? If I liked mustard, absolutely, I would buy into that brand. I think you need to try some mustard. When's the last time you tried mustard? I know. I bring this point up. Hold on. Let me finish. Sure. Avocados, you're going to bring in guacamole. Let's name a few things.

that Jon did not eat before he met me. We don't have enough time left in this episode to go through that laundry list. everything that isn't chicken nuggets, pizza, grilled cheese, tacos with meat and cheese only, kind of hit it that way, hamburgers with cheese only. Now he puts lettuce on them.

Rebel without a cause. Also, would note that he does not use condiments. He'd never use condiments until he met me. He actually dips his chicken nuggets in ranch now. I do. No ketchup, no mustard. None of that nonsense. No relish. No, So. Yes, I would buy into the brand, but I don't.

I wouldn't buy the mustard. don't like mustard. It's really honestly, it's don't know that you don't like mustard. Like less than a handful of years ago, you didn't like avocados and guacamole. And now you that all the time. How much do you love sushi? I do love sushi. Look, it's not the same thing. I can still choose to dislike some things. But you have to try it every now and then. I didn't like Brussels sprouts until like a few months ago. is fucked up and weird that that is suddenly now a thing, but.

Anyway. Actually, it's not that I dislike Brussels sprouts. I couldn't get past the smell of them because I had had them. See, is a very strong. it would not be how I would first describe not being around my coworkers. The reason it popped in my head, I'm going to defend myself for a hot second, is because he talks a lot in the book about how he likes the smell of her hair and things like that. So that's why it popped in my head. Anyways, it's really too bad she's a fictional character. You can't smell them.

It's too bad she's a fictional character because I think it would be a lot of fun to use her skills for this podcast. Samantha? Yes. I mean, technically it's Abby Jimenez who has an amazing social media. Like she has been described as the author with the best social media. So, but I agree. She's Samantha in the book is quite witty. Quite witty and pithy. I would be influenced. I love mustard and I would totally buy Merkel's mustard, but instead I'm a French's gal. Yeah, that's unfortunate.

anyway, moving off condiments. So as normal, do you have any final thoughts on this book and would you recommend it to our listeners? I would. I would absolutely recommend it is. I have a better thought. Tell our male listeners why they should read this book, because it is probably 99 % marketed to women and read by women. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not going to do that.

I guess maybe the way I would answer would be men should read this because it can help. You can be sculpted like a God and still have empathy and treat women the way they should be treated. How's that for an answer?

You know, lot of men sculpted like gods. No, I don't. I don't walk in those circles. I don't smell in those circles. I don't smell in those circles. No. Okay. I would recommend it because it's humorous while still being like really relatable. I feel like there's a lot of ways to identify with things in your own life. ⁓ as you pointed out that, which is just like a skill that Abby's writing has. And so even though it's in

the romance section of the bookstore. I think there's a lot that men can get out of it. Don't be afraid of it, because it's got a pink cover. That's pretty good. Thanks. So I'll work on that. But I would love to hear your recommendation of this book and final thoughts. I would absolutely recommend this book. Should it men and women? Of course. Okay, good. Listen, if you are in a relationship with a woman, specifically between a man and a woman,

in a heterosexual relationship. There is the word. Understanding how a woman might think or feel or anything to give you perspective of what is going on in our brains, because it is a lot at any given moment, I think would help benefit your relationship. Now, I'm not saying that it's not the same for women the other way. Women should absolutely understand

how men are thinking and feeling. Anytime you can understand better where your partner's coming from will help you be a better partner. But I would of course recommend this book. It is my favorite, Well, just like we talked about at the start of the show, we wanted to remind everyone that the next two books in our lineup are The Trade-Off by Samantha Greene Woodruff, which is a historical fiction novel set in the 1920s around the crash of the stock market.

I just finished it and I absolutely loved it. It also pissed me off a great deal, but more about that in the next episode. And then the latest by Emily Henry, A Great Big Beautiful Life. And don't forget that a free way to support our show is by leaving us a review and rating us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And if you don't want to rate us, but you have a question, you can always email us at booksandmakemyhusbandread@gmail.com. And we would love to hear from you. But that

is it. No more smelling people.

That's it. That one is another one in the books to put back on the shelf for a rainy day. Well, who knows? Maybe this will be the one your husband reads. Okay then. Peace out, Billy. See, that's an inside joke we know. Peace out, Billy. See you, dude. Bye.

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